Thread: Why am I afraid of physical contact and how do I get over it.?

I Have a great boyfriend that is very important to me. He pulled me out of my depression, and I am much happier with him around. I truly love him but I just can't get myself to hold hands with him. I know he wants to do it but he doesn't want to pressure me to. I would love to hold his hand, hug, and kiss, but I just can't approach him about it. I can't even explain how hard it was for me to ask him out. Me asking him out took all my guts and more. How do I just grab his hand without seeming like an idiot, or being nervous. My mom has told me that ever since I was younger I wouldn't want family to hug or kiss me. I always pulled away from people. I was pretty much forced to hug and kiss them until I got to about age 11 (when I had more control over it) and I think it has affected me. I am even uncomfortable shaking someones hand (like at our schools honor assembly, I had to shake the principals hand.) and I had a hard time doing that especially on stage in front of alot of people. Please help me get over this fear of physical contact.

It has also gotten to the point to where I won't hug my mom or my dad or kiss them. I can't stand even them hugging me and it really is hard for me.


I am ready to do this and I am not that young. I have problems touching nearly everyone my family, friends, and even people I am very close to. When I was younger my grandpa always forced me to hug him and I absolutely hate him now for it. (he was very perverted in a way) but not like forcig me to do anything else but he always called me sexy and stuff. It really bothered me. I am fine with my boyfriend saying those things about me and touching mebut I just cant seem to approach him and grab his hand or anything.

you need a grateful dead concert ..you'll be hugging trees by the end

Well from what you said it sounds psychological so i think you should get some therapy, it will help much more than us people over the internet can. My help and advice would be if you force yourself to do it then it might become easier for you. I have extreme trouble walking in to a room full of people, i missed the start of a lesson at school and was to nervous to walk in to the room in front of everyone so i didn't go which wasn't the right thing to do and i should have forced myself too. Start by touching fingers with other people, then high five , then try after that to hold their hand. After that you could move onto hugs or whatever, try first with the person your closest too (i don't whether that's your boyfriend or mom...it doesn't really matter) but you need to try and get help elsewhere other than the internet. Best of luck!

=]

I am ready to do this and I am not that young. I have problems touching nearly everyone my family, friends, and even people I am very close to. When I was younger my grandpa always forced me to hug him and I absolutely hate him now for it. (he was very perverted in a way) but not like forcig me to do anything else but he always called me sexy and stuff. It really bothered me. I am fine with my boyfriend saying those things about me and touching mebut I just cant seem to approach him and grab his hand or anything.

That might be caused by trauma sweety.. Maybe when anyone touches you, you remember your grandpa.

Yeah I think so too it's a trauma from your grandad. No grandpa calls their grand daughter sexy and stuff. If I were you I'd talk to my mom or dad about it and probably visit a psychiatrist so you know why you are acting that way. Maybe something happened when you were young that made you feel bad about touching, kissing, and hugging even your loved ones.